Sunday, August 21, 2016

The swirling eddy of apprehension

I love my dad Harry, don't get me wrong! Well...I love his memory is probably more accurate I guess. He's been gone these last 20 years. SHIT I'D LIKE A COFFEE DATE!
I don't think Harry had a ton of confidence in me as a kid. I don't hold it against him, but I felt that I never REALLY measured up. I mean he wasn't cruel or anything, he just never really said that he was proud of me you know? Must be "the English way".
 He taught me how to ride a bike and he showed me how to respect women. That man loved my question! NOTHING came before my mum in his life. Nothing came before Harry in mum's life. That's damned near magic pixie dust shit right there. They must have communicated?
However they decided to "be married" it worked.
Death parted them.
Growing up, I was never encouraged to GO FOR IT whether it was a drivers licence, traveling, a job or anything risky.
In fact, to this day, mum worries about me riding my motorbike, living on my own, my wanting to ride my bike to Guatemala...
She'd rather I sit indoors with the curtains drawn and the doors locked. I only do that when bouts of deep depression freezes my heart and brain.
I get it! Mums worry. After all, I'm "her baby".
Mum was protective! I get that!
But so far, in my life, a few people have chided in with acidic negativity that I believed.
In the not to far away past, I've been told that everything I set out to do, I fail. That was a lie.
I've been told that everything I start, I don't finish. That's a lie.
I've been told that I'd be better off "not risking it" That's a lie.
I've been told that I'd never amount to anything. That's a lie.
You (we) must weigh this sort of information though mustn't you? Good God! If friends and family utter these words...shouldn't we listen?
My first reaction is to "turtle" because the vitriol comprised in the words seep deep into the soul...
However, a sober, sane pause might lend clarity to the moment. (ignore throat lump, think about it)
Was the oracle delivered by a sane person?
Was it delivered by a wounded person?
Was it delivered by a person in authority over you?
Was it given by a bully?
Was it said by someone you respect that doesn't respect you?
So much to consider.
Let's not exclude passionate words that can't be taken back!
You can tell that I work with adolescent humans that are in the care of the Ministry can't you?
All this to say...
Whether you're pissed off, wounded or feeling smugly superior...think before you speak.
Because that person you're facing just might believe you...

Saturday, July 23, 2016

Living by fiction

NEWS it has been said, is the original idea of the gathering of information from areas North East West and South. It is stories brought by runner, horseback, falcon, smoke signal, beacons, radio, telephone, television, internet.
Good News seems to be passe' and always gets trumped by the ugly bad News. I don't know what it is that causes humanity to cling to the bad News forgoing the good but every succesful (if I can use the definition) News agency knows this.
A quick look at any American feed reveals a macabre narrative of all the wrongs from everywhere on Earth...converging into perpetual questions: Can it happen here? Are we safe?
Canadian feeds are quickly catching up with the trend too.
CBC for example, is quick to give the headline with little deep information and no follow-up.
So I ask the question: Why our "train wreck" mentality?
What is it that causes us to create 45 minute traffic jams as we pass an accident but blast past waterfalls, vista points and wild green spaces with nary a care?
Are we really in that much need of misery that we'll forfeit joy?
Can we only relate to agony and heartbreak because we too quickly have forgotten all of the good, timely blessings life tossed our way?
Donald Trump's latest speech was full of hate, anger, fear and "vitriol" ( currently my favourite word which is new to me) to which legions of his followers cheered and jumped about. He chooses a frightening way to ralley the masses, but it works!
Trump KNOWS that too many people have a need to cling to a victim mentality* forgoing any other characteristic of self identy. Many of us cling to Global bad news and agony in our lives, make it our narrative and stupidly set it up as a sextant by which to travel. I shake my head.
I work around a lot of hurting people that are gripped in addiction, mental health issues, poverty and disease and many of these people STILL NOTICE JOY!
I look at a lot of local News. I look at foreign web sites to keep myself "in the know" so as to relate to my fellow human in their suffering and JOY!
This exercise has often helped me to be available to help others when called upon as if I know what they're going through.
In saying that, I must refresh myself outdoors away from all of that bad news.
So heres the application:
Cling to all that is good, learn from the not-so-good and go out of your often way to help someone else in word and deed.

Victim mentality is an acquired (learned) personality trait in which a person tends to regard him or herself as a victim of the negative actions of others, and to behave like it were the case—even in the absence of clear evidence. It depends on habitual thought processes and attribution.

Saturday, March 5, 2016

trump card


A trump card, as you know, can be played as ANY card at any time. It has no definitive identity, forever changing, never lying, never the same.
Would you place a bet in a card game knowing that your opponent had 1 or more trump cards? If you would...lets play poker!
The latest race to the White House down South has been nothing less than the worst in American Reality TV.
Republican Frontrunner Donald "Trump" Drumpf is very much like that card. You'd have to be one very mentally unstable individual to have any faith in this guy...but, as the numbers show, Republicans are gushing over him!
How many groups, people and Nations has he publically slandered now? 199 and rising?
The thing is, whether you love him or hate him, he says things that, apparently, millions of people subscribe to. Right leaning people in any event.
Over the years, I've heard some really crap things first hand that people have said with the caveat "I'm not prejudiced...but"...Many of those people identified as Christian!
When I was a Pastor in Alberta, I was challenged several times after giving people grief for their ugly comments. I never let that poison attitude go unchallenged!
(I was going to site a few examples but thought better of it.) Usually someone would run off to a Senior Pastor and tell a rather one-sided story. I don't make promises...but I promise that I will NEVER take on that role again! Heart breaking!
I was speaking with a pensioner recently about Trump, she said
"Well, people are tired of immigrants taking jobs, buying all the houses and everything, spending top dollar making everything unaffordable. Bringing in drugs, making gangs. They disrespect our Country by not learning and using our Language, disregard our laws and bring their cultural violence here. At least He (Trump) will do something about that in America when He's President"
...WHEN he's President. Apparently this woman has made her mind up. If she were American, she'd vote for him.
I'm sure you're aware of some of the things he's said he would do when elected. If you are NOT familiar with those things, I suggest that you take a lingering sober look into it!
If this man is given the most Powerful title on Earth, the ensuing result will be calamity all over the Globe!
But in all reality, that will NEVER happen. Every Democrat will vote Blue and probably half of the Republicans will follow suit or stay home that day.
So, what type of person backs Trump?
I know, quite well, a Redneck guy here in Vancouver that would. He's a 2-faced, lying, spineless weasel of a man.
He called a man from Iran a "sand nigger" behind his back. I called the guy over and said "Hey ----- tell him to his face what you called him.
You should have seen his denial, back pedaling, grunting, uneasiness! I looked at him and said "Yeah...I thought you'd react like that."
I lost respect for that man on that day. I've heard him utter other poison over the years and called him on it. He denies it all the time!
So yeah. Thats the type of person I think will back Trump. Those spineless jellyfish types who's bark is much louder than their bite.
As far as Trump goes?
He's just the same! He flip flops more than the best of them.
Time will tell.
In the mean time, only if you're safe, would you PLEASE call out anyone talking garbage like Trump does?
(I just TOLD a kid to change the music he had on at the grouphome. "I'm gonna fuck that bitch, gonna get some dope, make 'em choke..."  What ugly garbage!)
My fear is that the Trump brand of "talk" is going to become as acceptable as the lyrics in today's Rap Music. That poisonous Leadership from the Head of State can only lead to a greater disrespect for people, violence towards people and a complete shift of moral fibre cleverly shrouded in Domestic Security...
God balm America!


Monday, January 18, 2016

The immortal are dying?

Did you hear that Ian Fraser Kilmister died? David Robert Jones died a short time after him.
Their families knew them. Their closest friends knew them.
I'm sure that they are well mourned.
Incidently, I mourn the loss of David more than Ian. I figured Ian would die eventually. But David? David seemed larger than life!
Certainly larger than cancer.
Cancer. That shitty little silent killer that doesn't put up a fair fight. No one is immune.
So yeah...people all over this every shrinking World that have never met Ian or David are rushing to specific areas and lighting candles, leaving notes, dropping off flowers, tying balloons to things and taking selfies at these places in a sort of...wake? We're leaving beatuful words all over social media for people that we have never ever met.
Name me either man's favourite colour or food.
Yes,  I realize that each one contributed an emence catalogue of "flare" to this planet for which I am grateful. little heart didn't break. My head did a sort of "low brow" though.
Their deaths started me thinking. If you know me (that is, know my favourite colour and/or food) you know that I think too much.
We are all living in this brief moment of instantaneous gratification where apparently, life is only meaningful if we amass loads of "goods" that we don't realy need and can't afford anyway!
Oh cards. Finance your dream in this fleeting vapourous life. Tell you what, the newest iPhone shouldn't be something to tick off of your bucket list!
The people at the top of the food chain that run the show are busy as hell telling their people to tell their people what exactly to spoon feed us and when.
So heres my point.
2 people have died. They were complete strangers to you and me, and they never once invited us to their table.
Yet we light candles, tear our sackcloth, learn cover tunes and quickly buy albums...
May I tell you the truth?
These 2 were mere mortals just like you and me.
Indeed they were gifted in unique ways and "loved us" so much that they chose to share their talent...for which I'm ever grateful, but people die every single day of every single month of every single year and precious few drop a flower or set free a balloon.
There are over 7.2 billion humans standing on this Earth and I only know a few. I haven't the time to heave anyone onto a pedastool, its really a far better use of MY precious days to treat everyone the same.
I'm willing to bet that Lemmy and Bowie would agree...