Sunday, December 7, 2014

sunrise, sunset.

I had the day off today and my wife had stuff going on so I jumped on my motorbike with her blessings. But I'm a man, so inevitably I screwed that up in the end. Never mind. This blog is about my advances in mental health, not my misery.
I clocked just over 160 kilometres of chilly freedom that I so desperately needed! No partner, no parameters, no schedule, no destination.
Freedom is a word that is definitely up for interpretation.
I was on the bank of a river today watching Chum salmon gasping at their last gulps of life after spawning. They lay more than swimming, pathetically at the shore trying with all their might to go up any stream that offered a current. Its what salmon know they're meant to do.
A local First Nations guy I started chatting with said that they're also called tomatoes due to their crimson colour.
These magnificent creatures beat such odds to get back to this river. But are they free?
One could argue that since they MUST spawn that they are indeed not free...but governed.
What governs your actions? Your thoughts? Your opinions?
Often times, we (ME) live our lives controling other humans for our own benefit.
Think on it honesty for a moment.  Do you really, FULLY give your kids, spouse, employees or friends total freedom? I'd wager no.
We live for self. Face it!
We look out for #1 in 90% of our waking activities.
Mum Teresa flipped it around. I'm no where near ready to commit to that. How many excuses do you want me to cite? Do you have some? Ever struggled in this?
So today...was all about me. My mental well being, a moment to recharge my human battery, to breathe deep the precious air that God designed that I so desperately need.
But I forgot to include someone dear to me.
Such a simple task...but when we're focused on self, nothing else matters. No other one matters...for a moment.
Freedom is an interesting gift. You don't simply have it, you must be given it or it doesn't exist. So in that vein of thought, the freedom I've been given is simply an illusion.
I think, but I may be wrong, that true freedom could perhaps be defined as living quietly on your own in a cabin on a mountain far from civilization utterly dependent upon your own means...
Or, to flip it, it could also mean that your freedom begins at the time of your death.
I wager that none of us embrace freedom.

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